Church hurt, whether real or imagined, needs healing. The wound left within the soul of the individual can hinder further spiritual growth and cause one to become a prisoner of the past. As with a spouse who is living in an abusive relationship, it is best to guard yourself from unnecessary harm. Measures are required to remedy the problem that could cause future damage to the one who is being victimized. The pain is not to be ignored, for the feeling is real and a legitimate signal that something much deeper is occurring. However, the question is, what is the real source of the pain? Is it inflicted by others, or does it stem from a perspective that needs clarification or modification?
What is insulting and injurious to one may be a means of conviction to another. The church is comprised of imperfect people who are called together so that they may grow together. Growth pains are a part of interpersonal relationships, where each member enters with baggage from their past. When one or more members do not live up to the other’s expectation, that could become a cause for offense. If all members are not committed to the same God-given objective or vision, the relationship will be short-lived. When one is born again, a commitment is made to the vision, and thus the commitment is solidified towards one another. “Where there is no revelation (vision), the people cast off restraints.” Proverbs 29:18) It is the Spirit of His grace that holds us together and enables individuals to work through their disagreements. Only when those who love the Lord are postured to see beyond their own personal pain will they be equipped to overcome it. This could be something that caused pain in the past and was triggered by an occurrence that caused that pain to resurface. When our sights are set on the things above, the friction and tension presently experienced can work together as a means of producing spiritual growth. Iron sharpens iron, and as hard as it is, the hardness produces sharpness by producing a cutting edge. These situations shape us to develop into ministers of grace by becoming discerning enough to help others get through situations that they may face and not being overly preoccupied with self-interest and self-centeredness.
Even though we all are hurt at one time or another or in one form or the other, what ultimately matters is how we interpret our pain. Through prayer, we must take whatever issue we may have with others to God. When we pray about the situation, we give God permission to show us His view regarding the matter. If it is an individual within the church, which is comprised of individuals, the person that hurt you does not represent the whole church. Isolate the pain to where it generated rather than making a prejudgment against the whole church. However, be mindful that whatever manner in which you judge others will be the same measure in which you will be judged. Go to them and them alone, knowing that we have been called by God to be Peacemakers. If it is not resolved, then bring another with you. If you cannot resolve it with a witness, bring the situation to the nearest leader within the church. God heals the brokenhearted and mends their wounds. You are a part of making your church a healthy church.